Melbourne’s Offensive Traffic Lights

8 03 2017

It is wonderful to see the City of Melbourne finally tackling the really big issues. You may not know it but our traffic lights are turning us into sexist Nazi bigots through unconscious bias.

You see, because the silhouettes of little green and red people on Melbourne’s traffic lights are men, our society is drowning in misogyny and allows wicked patriarchy to flourish.

But fear not…

Pedestrian traffic lights depicting female figures will be installed in Melbourne’s CBD today as a part of a lobby group’s push for gender equality.

Ten female pedestrian figures will be installed on traffic lights at the intersection of Swanston and Flinders streets as part of a VicRoads-approved 12-month trial.

“The aim is to move towards one-to-one male and female representation across the state of Victoria.”

“Some people [read Nazi bigots] have expressed a little scepticism wondering whether it’s gesture politics rather than having any real substance”…

Minister for Women Fiona Richardson said the use of a woman’s figure on pedestrian crossings would make public space more inclusive of women.

“There are many small — but symbolically significant — ways that women are excluded from public space,” she said in a statement.

But they didn’t think it through because this proposal is incredibly racist towards people who are neither green or red.

It is also ageist. Where is the figure with a Zimmer Frame, I ask?

Not to mention it is rampantly Islamophobic because the traffic lights woman is not wearing a hijab or a burka. And what about gender fluid, neutrois or non-binary traffic lights?

According to Victorian Governor Linda Dessau:

“Some people […read Nazi bigots…] have expressed a little scepticism wondering whether it’s gesture politics rather than having any real substance,”

“But these symbols are a practical and meaningful way to demonstrate that in fact 50 per cent of our population is female and should therefore also be represented at traffic lights.”

No shit, Sherlock? But why are you forgetting the fact that 0.6% of Victorians speak Tagalog at home. Where are their traffic lights?

I also expect to see 35% of Victorian traffic light figures who are overweight or obese. We don’t want to exclude fat people from public places now, do we?

All of this is incredibly funny if it wasn’t so sad. Identity politics poisons everything and no matter how much is done it is never enough as new victim classes are created daily while the list of our imaginary crimes grows forever longer…




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