Julie Burchill nails the Greens:
Have you noticed that Green is the first socio-political movement in which every single leader and spokesperson is filthy rich – they make the Conservative Party look like the Jarrow marchers. Even the suffragettes – a pretty posh posse – could count working-class women among their star turns. But look at the Greens – not one chav champion in the whole stuck-up setup that is chock-full of Etonians.
The new generation of Private Frazers – ‘Doomed, doomed, we’re all doomed!’ – tend to be from hugely wealthy families, too, though their ancestors tend to be barons. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to work out that what these silver-spoon scions may be experiencing is a good old-fashioned bout of class guilt to make them turn on the cut-throat carpet bagging that made their families’ fortunes.
But whereas getting a dose of socialism would have led them to turn – quite rightly – on their own kind, the rich and powerful, the warped logic of ecology encourages them to turn on the poor and powerless. Hence the constant harping about how cheap food, cheap clothes and cheap travel are the enemies of the planet – so, presumably, prices should go up and the well-off won’t notice a difference while the poor should starve, go barefoot and stay at home. Just like in the good old days, eh, chaps?
There is plenty more good stuff so read on… I especially like the Hypocrite Holidays (most of my lefty mates are right into them):
Everyone loves a few weeks off in new surroundings and hypocrites are no different.
Always remember, however, that the hypocrite is never a ‘tourist’ but always a ‘traveller’. Got it? Good. Pack your bags and prepare to visit the destinations of double standards.
1. SOUTH AMERICA: With all those jungles, this region is the place to go for the Green hypocrite.
You can even plant a tree in your name to help the environment (because it is, after all, all about you). And thanks to fuel-guzzling air travel, it’s all only a matter of hours away. Remember to take your Sting CD to listen to on the flight.
2. AFRICA: My goodness, you’re right on if you go to Africa. Remember to haggle with the locals during every financial transaction. You’re there to enjoy yourself and, after all, there’s no greater feeling in the world than haggling a poor African man out of three pounds.
3. ARAB STATES: You love the culture and believe that the sheer authenticity of it makes Western values seem so corrupt and futile in comparison. And if you ask around in the right places, you will be able to find those underground bars that illicitly serve alcohol, while you watch pole dancing. Cheers!
4. INDIA: The Taj Mahal, the deserts, the mountainous Himalayan regions and the garden city of Bangalore. It’s lovely. Those bloody beggars almost ruined it, though.
5. WARSAW: They say this city is ‘the new Prague’. Anti-semitism and homophobia thrive in this city – yet the modern hypocrite will still flock there for ‘the marvellous culture’ (read: cheap booze). Not that their love of travelling to Poland will prevent them from moaning about Poles coming to the UK.
Julie’s book is available from Amazon UK