Stuff White People Like blog has a hilarious piece about one of the left’s/liberals’ favourite ways to avoid debate and to label their opponents evil. Do you know what I am talking about? It’s comparing people to Hitler, of course!
Being a truly advanced white person means being able to speak with authority about pretty much any field of conversation- especially politics. In order for white people to streamline the process of knowing everything, all human beings can be neatly filed into one of two categories: People I Agree With, and People Who are Just Like Adolf Hitler.
It works like this. A lefty/liberal thinks: “I am a wonderful person. I am caring, socially aware, jolly well educated and pretty much right about everything. Therefore, anyone who disagrees with me is evil. Hitler was evil too, which means that everyone who disagrees with me is like Hitler – a Nazi”. This of course is the ultimate in sloppy thinking, but hey, some of the shining lights of Western academia got away with this marvellous logic for years. So what the hell!
Comparing people to Hitler is an easy way for white people to get a strong point across to the less enlightened, or the insufficiently white. Everyone knows who Adolf Hitler was. And everyone knows that Hitler was very, very bad. Therefore, if a white person really, REALLY, doesn’t like something or someone, he or she may angrily say something to the effect of, “This is exactly the same kind of thing that Hitler used to do!” accompanied by varying levels of profanity based on blood-alcohol content. No matter what your gut reaction may be at that point, do not disagree with that white person. Otherwise, well, you love Hitler.
Exactly, if you argue with a lefty/liberal, you must be a like Hitler! Why else would you argue against the undeniable, morally superior force of good? Our best and brightest!
This time-tested white-person manoeuvre may seem so awesomely useful to you that you are tempted to go out and try it right now. Not so fast. White people have spent the last 30 years perfecting this technique. There are cultural guidelines.
It’s also critical that you avoid the fatal mistake of getting creative and comparing people you don’t like to other evil dictators, such as Joseph Stalin or Fidel Castro. With few exceptions, white people are actually fond of almost any dictator not named Hitler, and your remark that “this is just like something Mao Zedong would do” will be met with blank stares and possible social alienation. This is because, with the exception of Hitler, oppressive dictators share a passion for many of the things white people love- such as universal health care, conspiracy theories, caring about poor people while being filthy rich, and cool hats. Stick to the script and
compare things you don’t like to Hitler, and Hitler alone.
This is pretty much spot on. Lefties/liberals love dictators especially if they are sticking it to the big bad AmeriKKKa! They also conveniently forget that Hitler was the man of the left. Nazis were socialists and believed in all of the left/liberal tenets like welfare state, age pensions, secularism, environmentalism and so on. If Hitler didn’t try to take over the world and kill all the Jews, he would’ve been fondly remember as one of the great leaders of the left. A kind of Castro with a moustache.
Now, like most reasonable people, you might find this strategy distasteful, and even a bit disrespectful, since after all, Hitler was responsible for the deaths of tens of millions, and probably doesn’t have that much in common with Pat Robertson, in perspective. If you prefer to avoid hearing or using the Hitler technique, we recommend you speak in soothing, affirming tones around angry white people to prevent the phenomenon from manifesting, and change the subject tactfully. To something that doesn’t involve George W. Bush.
Alternatively, accuse them of being like Hitler themselves by raising Hitler’s impecable leftist/liberal credentials. You may start by reciting Hitler’s wonderful welfare programs and finish by asking: “Now, apart from starting the WWII and killing Jews, which actual Nazi policy do you actually disagree with”?